Wondering what makes us unhappy? Well, most of the times it’s things we do daily.
You most probably know some people who always find a reason to smile, who seem in peace and are genuinely happy even though nothing changes in their life.
You’ve also noticed another type of people – the negative ones, who focus on the bad in every situation, constantly complain and make everyone else around them feel unhappy as a result.
All this is a matter of choice, though. It’s your attitude towards life and it can be turned from negative to positive if you decide so.
If you want to be happier, it makes sense to first identify what makes you miserable and stop doing it. So here are 6 such things:
1. Having regrets about the past
Too many people go back to what has happened before and try to analyze it. They wonder if things could have turned out better and try to imagine different scenarios.
All that makes them relive the situation again and bring back the negative emotions. It makes them feel hopeless too as they can’t really do anything about it.
What’s done is done. We must accept that and let it stay in the past in order to move on. Otherwise, we carry that burden into our present and ruin it.
2. Not being honest with ourselves
We often try to hide our deepest desires and thus never do what we’re passionate about, never follow the right path in life and never find happiness.
Instead, we live by other people’s standards, try to answer expectations, to make ourselves do things we don’t feel like doing and so on.
That makes life a constant battle between what we think we must do and what others expect us to do, instead of what we actually want to do and are good at.
Until we start being honest with ourselves, listen to our heart and follow our passion, happiness won’t come.
An awful habit people share is comparing their life to the life of others.
It’s bad because it leads to feeling upset and even getting depressed. But more importantly, it’s a self-destructive behavior because it lets you focus on what you don’t have in your life and get jealous because others have it.
If you think about it though, it’s completely unrealistic. You can’t really compare two people or two lives. It doesn’t make sense.
Everyone has been through different difficulties in life, has different plans and goals for the future and the way each one sees things is unique too.
Having all that in mind, you can let go of the need to compare and stop paying attention to what others have that you don’t. Instead, you should start noticing what’s around you and appreciate it.
Being grateful leads you to see the abundance you live in and helps you be happy without trying to change anything.
4. Not finding time for ourselves
Another thing we do wrong that makes us unhappy is never having some “me time”.
We need solitude every now and then. It’s the time when we can be just by ourselves, left with our thoughts while doing some pleasant activities or just enjoying the silence. That’s how we’ll reduce stress and be more peaceful.
The best way to find that time is to create it.
I suggest you start waking up a bit earlier and use this extra time for a nice morning ritual. You may journal your thoughts, read something inspiring, meditate, get ready for the day, listen to music, drink your cup of coffee slowly, or else.
No one will bother you in the early morning and there won’t be anything else you should be doing.
That will help you empty your mind and just be present, while preparing for the day.
5. Changing direction too often
From what I’ve seen, too many people don’t know where they’re heading in life. As a result, they get nowhere.
Some do find their purpose at some point, even set specific goals to reach their dream lifestyle. But rarely keep that vision alive as they tend to jump from one goal to the next.
But without your own path to follow, you can’t find contentment and meaning in your days.
One of the things successful people have done at an early age is to define what exactly they want in life. The means and exact goals may change often, but the desired result stays the same. That’s why they eventually get where they want to be.
That’s what you should do too. Sit down and get clear about your priorities. Write down anything you deeply care about or which provokes even slight interest in you. Think it through. Turn these into goals and imagine your life in the future and yourself having achieved them. If it feels good, go after it.
Just remember that you’ll need to stay on this path long enough to actually get somewhere.
6. Living in the future
When it comes to what makes us unhappy, living in the past is as harmful as living in the future.
I’m not talking about planning, being prepared for bad times and visualizing success. These work well.
But some people tend to spend more time in the future than they do in the present. Which turns their life into one huge expectation, a constant battle with time, never being mindful of what’s going on in the “now”, trying to predict what tomorrow might bring and even fearing it.
Why is that a self-destructive behavior? Because we create an illusion and replace our current life with it. We stay there, seeing how things might be, trying to make them perfect. But that never happens.
We end up being disappointed instead of living life to the fullest and doing things we enjoy.
If that sounds familiar, please do something about it today. Start with realizing how bad this habit is and how miserable it makes you. Get back to the present moment, thank for everything you already have and do some productive work that will guarantee you a better future too.
So that’s what makes us unhappy. We all do little things like these daily. But simply eliminating them will help us find contentment and peace without taking any action or making changes in real life.
Try these out and find happiness in the present moment, everywhere around you.
What do you think? What makes us unhappy apart from the items on this list? And what can we do about it?
Article by Lidiya K.